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  1. 2.0 hrs • 9/13/2016 • Unabridged

    What if William Shakespeare had written The Big Lebowski? The Dude has met the Bard, and he doth abide. Join the “Knave” and Sir Walter on a wild tale of mistaken identity, kidnapping, bowling, and a rug that, in faith, really tied the room together—in a sidesplitting Shakespearean comedy of errors and ninepins, told in five glorious acts of iambic pentameter and impeccable period prose. It’s already a theatrical hit and a worldwide viral phenomenon. Two Gentlemen of Lebowski is not endorsed by or associated with the Coen Brothers, the writers and directors of the film The Big Lebowski, or Working Title or Universal Pictures, the producer and distributor of The Big Lebowski. Any and all adaptation rights in and to the The Big Lebowski are reserved to the Coen Brothers and to Universal Pictures.

    Available Formats: CD, MP3 CD
    Also: MP3 CD
  2. 0.1 hrs • 7/5/2016 • Unabridged

    What do you do when you spot a wild Trump in the election season? New York Times bestselling author and comedian Michael Ian Black has some sage advice for children (and all the rest of us who are scratching our heads in disbelief) in this perfectly timely parody book intended for adults that would be hysterical if it weren’t so true. The beasty is called an American Trump. Its skin is bright orange, its figure is plump. Its fur so complex, you might get enveloped. Its hands, though are, sadly, underdeveloped. The Trump is a curious creature, very often spotted in the wild, but confounding to our youngest citizens. A business mogul, reality TV host, and now … political candidate? Kids (and, let’s be honest, many adults) might have difficulty discerning just what this thing that’s been dominating news coverage this election cycle is. Could he actually be real? Are those … words coming out of his mouth? Why are his hands so tiny? And, perhaps most importantly, what on earth do you do when you encounter an American Trump? With his signature wit and a classic style, comedian Michael Ian Black introduces those unfamiliar with the Americus Trumpus to his distinguishing features and his mystifying campaign for world domination … sorry … president of the United States.

    Available Formats: Download

    A Child's First Book of Trump

    0.1 hrs • 7/5/16 • Unabridged
  3. 1 reviews 0 5 5 5 out of 5 stars 5/5 (1)
    6.1 hrs • 6/28/2016 • Unabridged

    Summer 2018. Two years into President Donald J. Trump’s first term in office, America has never been greater. The Even Greater Wall along the Mexican border is under construction, paid for by Mexico. Americans have more money in their pockets, thanks to lower taxes and the president’s creative money-raising strategies. Who else would have thought to pay for FEMA’s budget by suing the Catholic Church over property damage caused by acts of God? And while Trump’s detractors may call him a tyrant, the American people love bullies when the victim is Congress: every time they impeach the president, his approval rating skyrockets. Ever conscious of his hugely important historical legacy, The Donald plucks disgraced tabloid reporter Jimmie Bernwood—the man responsible for publishing the infamous Ted Cruz sex tape—from the depths of anonymity to become his official biographer, giving him enviable access to the gold-plated White House and all of its secrets. When Trump’s previous biographer turns up dead, Bernwood must do some real investigative reporting, get to the bottom of a long series of murders—and, if it’s absolutely unavoidable, save the country.

    Available Formats: Download, CD, MP3 CD, Digital Rental
    The Day of the Donald by Andrew Shaffer

    The Day of the Donald

    6.1 hrs • 6/28/16 • Unabridged
    1 reviews 0 5 5 5 out of 5 stars 5/5 (1)
    Also: CD, MP3 CD, Digital Rental
  4. 5.5 hrs • 6/28/2016 • Unabridged

    As seen in the Sony Pictures 2016 film Ghostbusters, the ultimate guide to identifying, understanding, and engaging with any paranormal activity that plagues you Years before they made headlines with the Ghostbusters, Erin Gilbert and Abby L. Yates published the groundbreaking study of the paranormal, Ghosts from Our Past. This criminally underappreciated book is now back, revised and somewhat updated for the new century. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. Whether you’re a believer or a skeptic, you’ll find the information you’re seeking right here in this extraordinary audiobook, including the frightening childhood experiences that inspired Erin and Abby’s lifelong passion for the paranormal, and the history and science behind ghosts and other supernatural entities. With this official Ghostbusters guide in hand, you’ll be prepared for almost any spirit, spook, or spectre that comes your way. For the rest, you know who to call.

    Available Formats: Download
  5. 2.9 hrs • 5/24/2016 • Unabridged

    This book is important, and not just because it’s about Donald Trump. It is essential listening for anyone who wants to discover the official Trump brand origin story, to learn his positions on vital issues like: the military, “Are These the Biggest Missiles We Have?” science, “If Einstein Was So Smart, Why Wasn’t He Rich?” and good government, “Of the Good People, by the Good People, and for the Good People.” Through hilarious stories, photo mashups, official documents, and future newspaper clippings, listeners will experience life under the leadership of President Trump. This is the road map every citizen needs to thrive and survive in a “Trumpocalypse.” Remember, it will be Trump’s America, but you have to live in it.

    Available Formats: Download

    Trump's America

    2.9 hrs • 5/24/16 • Unabridged
  6. 1.7 hrs • 5/3/2016 • Unabridged

    Against all odds, the Donald doesn’t appear to be going away anytime soon. Astonishingly, Trump’s lead over the Republican field of presidential candidates appears to widen with each passing week. The worst-case scenario playing out across the Land of the Free: What if he actually wins the election?! In President Trump, the special collector’s edition parody magazine from bestselling authors Tom Connor and Jim Downey, readers will discover the full range of President Trump’s plans—such as they are—for the nation’s highest office. From the heavily plagiarized Inauguration address to the new Cabinet of highly inappropriate members, and from the rebranding of the White House to hot-topic issues such as immigration and countries worth bombing, readers will quickly learn why one of the scariest words in the English language this year may be “elected!”

    Available Formats: Download

    President Trump

    1.7 hrs • 5/3/16 • Unabridged
  7. 4.2 hrs • 4/5/2016

    Got the long arm of the law around your neck?_x000D_ Does Lady Justice have her eye on you?_x000D_ Were you set up at a lineup?_x000D_ Saul Goodman can help!_x000D_ _x000D_ There are some crazy laws out there. Did you know that in New Mexico there’s a law that says “idiots” can’t vote? Or that Massachusetts still has a ban on Quakers and witches? Or that in Georgia it’s illegal to put a donkey in a bathtub?_x000D_ _x000D_ Even if you’re not bathing a donkey (and hey, if you are, no judgment from me!), you could be breaking the law right now and not even know it. That’s why you need Don't Go to Jail! You can carry the advice of a seasoned legal practitioner with you anywhere you go, helping you to stay out of the courts and in the good graces of the criminal justice system._x000D_ _x000D_ Want to be your own attorney? Want to avoid getting hauled in on a warrant? Want to keep the cops from discovering the baggie of “your friend’s” marijuana stashed under the passenger seat of your car? This is your chance to get those tips and many more savory bits of indispensable legal advice--all for much less than my usual hourly fee.

    Available Formats: Download
  8. 1.5 hrs • 3/22/2016 • Unabridged

    The Original Comedy Bill Schmalfeldt, the one-man sketch comedy troupe from Milwaukee.

    Available Formats: Download

    Handwriting on the Wall

    1.5 hrs • 3/22/16 • Unabridged
  9. 4.2 hrs • 2/2/2016 • Unabridged

    From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Grace’s Guide and the host of The Grace Helbig Show on E! comes a beautifully illustrated, tongue-in-cheek book about style that lampoons fashion and beauty guides while offering practical advice in Grace Helbig’s trademark sweet and irreverent voice. It’s clear to see I’m a style icon; remember, you can’t spell icon without “con.” Grace Helbig doesn’t want to tell anyone how they should dress, how they should do their hair or makeup, or even which dog poop bags to purchase—because surprisingly, Target has numerous options for that too! While Grace doesn’t claim to be stylish or polished, she is very self-aware and perceptive. Trendy? She’d rather have fun trying. She loves fashion as much as the next lady, man, or French bulldog, but telling others how they should look doesn’t suit her. Instead, with Grace & Style, Grace takes us into her closet and shares her silly and practical approach to style—which obviously includes an entire chapter on sweatpants. One part parody, one part fashion fun, and one part personal experience, Grace’s latest guide to life as a woman in America today is more H&M than Chanel. So tighten your Banana Republic belt a few notches and learn how to pretend and convince everyone around you that you’ve got style and grace!

    Available Formats: Download

    Grace and Style

    4.2 hrs • 2/2/16 • Unabridged
  10. 3.9 hrs • 12/29/2015 • Unabridged

    The surprising art of caring less and getting more Are you stressed out, overbooked, and underwhelmed by life? Fed up with pleasing everyone else before you please yourself? It’s time to stop giving a f*ck. This brilliant, hilarious, and practical parody of Marie Kondo’s bestseller The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up explains how to rid yourself of unwanted obligations, shame, and guilt—and give your f*cks instead to people and things that make you happy. The easy-to-use, two-step NotSorry Method for mental decluttering will help you unleash the power of not giving a f*ck about: Family dramaHaving a “bikini body”IcelandCoworkers’ opinions, pets, and childrenAnd other bullsh*t! And it will free you to spend your time, energy, and money on the things that really matter. So what are you waiting for? Stop giving a f*ck and start living your best life today!

    Available Formats: Download

    The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck

    3.9 hrs • 12/29/15 • Unabridged
  11. 2.4 hrs • 11/3/2015 • Unabridged

    An irreverent take on the national bestseller 41: A Portrait of My Father by George W. Bush, 45 is a no-holds-barred tell-all written in the voice of former president George W. Bush as he stumps for his brother Jeb—perhaps doing more harm than good. In 45: A Portrait of My Knucklehead Brother Jeb, George W. Bush takes readers on a journey through his “butt-faced kid brother’s” life, detailing the experiences that forged his presidential character, and in his own plainspoken and sometimes even comprehensible style, showing us why the younger Bush should be the next leader of the free world. And while he definitely wants Jeb to be commander-in-chief, he just can’t stop razzing him either. 45 is the most hilarious (and backhanded) presidential endorsement you’ve ever read—a true literary noogie from one brother to another.

    Available Formats: Download


    2.4 hrs • 11/3/15 • Unabridged
  12. 3.0 hrs • 10/20/2015 • Unabridged

    From Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, two of the twenty-first century’s most vital and creative minds, comes a brand new, inspirational, and game-changing life system that promises to instantly provide wellness, happiness, and total, absolute fulfillment.

    Available Formats: Download, CD

    Tim and Eric’s Zone Theory

    3.0 hrs • 10/20/15 • Unabridged
    Also: CD
  13. 2.7 hrs • 9/22/2015 • Unabridged

    The explosive secret e-mails Hillary Clinton doesn’t want you to read (Or maybe she does … She’s crafty like that.) Remember that time Hillary Clinton admitted that she deleted thousands of e-mails from her ultrasecret personal e-mail address while secretary of state? Thousands of e-mails, she claimed, about her daughter’s wedding? Well, shockingly, people aren’t buying it: “Hiding the truth” says the New York Post. “Conspiracy or incompetence?” asks Al Jazeera. “Hillary Clinton Don’t Give a Sh*t” claims Wonkette. What’s clear here is that the country will crumble if these e-mails aren’t released immediately. Now, thanks to John Moe and the good people of WikiLoox, the e-mails have been retrieved and placed in this dossier. For the first time, we’ll get a look inside HRC’s well-coiffed head, reading intimate conversations with family (Bill, Chelsea), friends (Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Oprah, Beyonce), and frenemies (Obama, Palin, Putin) alike. We’ll also learn essential details about her private life, from her pop culture obsessions to her thoughts on yoga, baking cookies, Scandal, and much more. Make no mistake—this is a book of critical national importance. On her journey from mother-of-the-bride to commandress-in-chief, we’ll see how HRC handles the most challenging situations she might face in the White House, including how to respond to people who “reply all” to e-mails and how to wrangle pantsuit retailers as they compete, with increasing desperation, for her attention. Along the way, we will finally get the portrait we need—the one our country deserves—of the woman we may soon call “Queen”—we mean, “Madam President.” So read on, friends. Read on for freedom.

    Available Formats: Download

    The Deleted E-Mails of Hillary Clinton

    2.7 hrs • 9/22/15 • Unabridged
  14. 2.4 hrs • 1/22/2015 • Unabridged

    Mallory Ortberg, cocreator of the cult-favorite website the Toast, presents this whimsical collection of hysterical text conversations from your favorite literary characters. Everyone knows that if Scarlett O’Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she’d constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she’d text you to pick her up after she totaled her car. Based on the popular web feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mash-up that brings the characters from your favorite books into the twenty-first century.

    Available Formats: Download

    Texts from Jane Eyre

    2.4 hrs • 1/22/15 • Unabridged
  15. 2.5 hrs • 1/6/2015 • Unabridged

    A hilarious look at the eating habits of the fit and famous—from Gwyneth’s goji berry and quail egg concoctions to Jackie Kennedy’s baked potato and Beluga caviar regimen—Rebecca Harrington leaves no cabbage soup unstirred in her wickedly funny, wildly absurd quest to diet like the stars. Elizabeth Taylor mixed cottage cheese and sour cream; Madonna subsisted on “sea vegetables;” and Marilyn Monroe drank raw eggs whipped with warm milk. Where there is a Hollywood starlet offering nutritional advice, there is a diet Rebecca Harrington is willing to try. Facing a harrowing mix of fainting spells, pimples, and salmonella, Harrington tracks down illegal haggis to imitate Pippa Middleton, paces her apartment until the wee hours drinking ten Diet Cokes à la Karl Lagerfeld, and attempts something forbiddingly known as the “Salt Water Flush” to channel her inner Beyoncé. Rebecca Harrington risks kitchen fires and mysterious face rashes all in the name of diet journalism. Taking cues from noted beauty icons like Posh Spice (alkaline!), Dolly Parton (Velveeta!), Sophia Loren (pasta!), and Cameron Diaz (savory oatmeal!), I’ll Have What She’s Having is completely surprising, occasionally unappetizing, and always outrageously funny.

    Available Formats: Download

    I’ll Have What She’s Having

    2.5 hrs • 1/6/15 • Unabridged
  16. 5.7 hrs • 11/4/2014 • Unabridged

    Megan Amram, one of Forbes’ 30 Under 30 in Hollywood & Entertainment, Rolling Stone’s 25 Funniest People on Twitter, and a writer for NBC’s hit show Parks and Recreation delivers a politically, scientifically, and anatomically incorrect “textbook” that will have women screaming with laughter and men dying to know what the noise is about. In the vein of faux expert books by John Hodgman and Amy Sedaris, Science…for Her! is ostensibly a book of science written by a denizen of women’s magazines. Comedy writer and Megan Amram showcases her fiendish wit with a pitch-perfect attack on everything from those insanely perky tips for self-improvement to our bizarre shopaholic dating culture to the socially mandated pursuit of mind-blowing sex to the cringe-worthy secret codes of food and body issues. Part hilarious farce, part biting gender commentary, Amram blends Cosmo and science to highlight absurdities with a machine gun of laugh-inducing lines that leave nothing and no one unscathed. Subjects include this Spring’s ten most glamorous ways to die, tips for hosting your own big bang, what religion is right for your body type, and the most pressing issue facing women today: kale! Be prepared to laugh about anything in this outrageous satirical gem.

    Available Formats: Download

    Science…for Her!

    5.7 hrs • 11/4/14 • Unabridged
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