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  1. 7.7 hrs • 9/13/2016 • Unabridged

    When New Yorker staff writer Lauren Collins moves to Geneva, Switzerland, she decides to learn French—not just to be able to go about her day-to-day life, but in order to be closer to her French husband and his family. When in French is at once a hilarious and idiosyncratic memoir about the things we do for love, and an exploration across cultures and history into how we learn languages, and what they say about who we are. In her late twenties, Lauren Collins moved to London, and fell in love with, and married, Olivier, a handsome French mathematician. When he has to relocate to Geneva for his work, she decides to go with him. In Geneva, however, Lauren is lost for words, literally: not only can she not communicate to the local chimney-sweep when he visits, but, watching Olivier converse fluently in French every day, she is also made painfully aware that she has never really spoken to her husband in his own language. She can say, “au revoir” and “bonjour” but that’s about it. “Hello and goodbye were a pair of bookends,” she writes, “propping up a vast library of blank volumes, void almanacs, novels full of sentiment I couldn’t apprehend.” What will happen when she has children? she wonders. If they grow up speaking French, will they be stuck with a “Borat of a mother” who can’t properly understand them? So she embarks on a quest to learn French, and, in doing so, must tangle with the intricacies of French culture—which, it turns out, is a far cry from family life back home in North Carolina. Down the rabbit hole of French Collins hurtles; role-playing with her classmates at language school; coming to terms with antique French social customs; accidently writing explicit “thank you” notes to her French in-laws; and delving into the strange and wonderful history of humanity’s many forms of language. When in French is a moving, laugh-out-loud funny memoir about falling in love, learning another language, and living far from home, as well as a freewheeling history of language. Collins investigates, among other things, how children acquire speech, the history of the idea of “American” as its own language, and why we don’t trust people who adopt accents. (Her own father takes on a southern accent after moving to North Carolina, much to her mother’s chagrin.) Plumbing the depths of the mysteries of foreign languages, Collins confesses—with style, sparkling humor, and touching honesty—to the frustrations, pleasures, surprises, and, finally, satisfactions of learning French.

    Available Formats: CD, Download

    When in French

    7.7 hrs • 9/13/16 • Unabridged
    Also: Download
  2. 6.5 hrs • 5/24/2016 • Unabridged

    Joining the ranks of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened and Carry On, Warrior, a fierce, hysterically funny memoir that reminds us that comedy equals tragedy plus time. Twentysomething Nora McInerny Purmort bounced from boyfriend to boyfriend and job to job. Then she met Aaron, a charismatic art director and her kindred spirit. They made mix tapes (and pancakes) into the wee hours of the morning. They finished each other’s sentences. They just knew. When Aaron was diagnosed with a rare brain cancer, they refused to let it limit their love. They got engaged on Aaron’s hospital bed and married after his first surgery. They had a baby when he was on chemo. They shared an amazing summer filled with happiness and laughter. A few months later, Aaron died in Nora’s arms in another hospital bed. His wildly creative obituary, which they wrote together, touched the world. Now, Nora shares hysterical, moving, and painfully honest stories about her journey with Aaron. It’s Okay to Laugh explores universal themes of love, marriage, work, (single) motherhood, and depression through her refreshingly frank viewpoint. A love letter to life, in all of its messy glory, and what it’s like to still be kickin’, It’s Okay to Laugh is like a long chat with a close friend over a cup of coffee (or chardonnay).

    Available Formats: Download, CD, MP3 CD
    It’s Okay to Laugh by Nora McInerny Purmort

    It’s Okay to Laugh

    6.5 hrs • 5/24/16 • Unabridged
    Also: CD, MP3 CD
  3. 6.7 hrs • 5/10/2016 • Unabridged

    With his signature matter-of-fact humor, comedian and musician Dave Hill explores his increasingly close relationship with his recently widowed father in a series of painfully funny essays you will want to read again and again by the fire, at the beach, in a truck stop men’s room, or just about anywhere. It’s your call, really. These days, Dave has just the right amount of spare time to write books at home, preferably in his underwear, but things weren’t always perfect. When he found himself pushing thirty while still living with his parents in Cleveland, unsuited for anything but what an “employment expert” vaguely called a career in “art, music, writing, or entertainment,” he decided to visit some friends in New York for the weekend and never left. However, getting his life together wasn’t as easy as he’d hoped, and even an illegally subletted, rent controlled fifth-floor walk-up studio apartment with a (for the most part) working toilet wasn’t glamorous enough to erase the fact that his four siblings were all married with steady jobs and actual human offspring. And in recent years, Dave’s father had grown tired of loaning him cash and living alone in the empty family home, neither of which made much sense to Dave, but whatever. Through the process of his father’s eventual move to a retirement community, Dave and his dad bonded over the things in life that really matter: scorching-hot rock jams, the gluten allergy craze, eighteen-wheelers, Italian food (pizza and spaghetti), and whatever else could possibly be left after that. Meanwhile, Dave discovered his late-blooming manhood via experiences as disparate and dangerous as a visit to a remote Mexican prison, where he learned that people everywhere love the Eagles, and a martial arts class that pushed his resolve and his groin to their limit. In Dave Hill Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, Hill’s voice is sharp, carefree, laced with just the right amount of profanity, and he is—seemingly despite himself—deeply empathetic as he portrays a difficult time in his family’s life and grows up just enough to realize that maybe he and his dad aren’t so different after all.

    Available Formats: Download

    Dave Hill Doesn’t Live Here Anymore

    Read by Dave Hill
    6.7 hrs • 5/10/16 • Unabridged
  4. 3.7 hrs • 4/5/2016 • Unabridged

    Based on the wildly popular Instagram account @CrazyJewishMom, Kate Siegel’s essay collection is about life with the woman who redefined the term “helicopter mom.” There is nothing more wonderful than a mother’s love. There is also nothing more annoying. Who else can proudly insist that you’re perfect while simultaneously making you question every career, fashion, and relationship decision you have ever made? No one understands the delicate mother-daughter dynamic better than Kate Siegel—her own mother drove her so crazy that she decided to broadcast their hilarious conversations on Instagram. Soon, hundreds of thousands of people were following their daily text exchanges, eager to see what outrageous thing Kate’s mom would do next. Now, in Mother, Can You Not?, Kate pays tribute to the woman whose helicopter parenting may make your mom look like Mother Teresa. If fans think Kate’s mom’s texts are insane, they will laugh out loud at the anecdotes her daughter shares in this collection. From embarrassing moments (like her mother’s surprise early morning visit, catching Kate in bed with her crush) to outrageous stories (such as the time she moved cross country to be near Kate’s college) to hilarious mantras (“No STD test. You won’t be getting sexed!”), Mother, Can you NOT? lovingly lampoons the lengths to which our mothers will go to better our lives (even if it feels like they’re ruining them in the process).

    Available Formats: Download

    Mother, Can You Not?

    3.7 hrs • 4/5/16 • Unabridged
  5. 4.3 hrs • 4/5/2016 • Unabridged

    The New York Times bestselling author of I Heart My Little A-Holes and creator of the wildly popular Baby Sideburns parenting blog offers her brutally honest and hilarious take on parenting—showing you that mediocre parents are awesome too. Moms and dads today worry they’re bad parents. They see others on Facebook and Pinterest showing off their smiley, perfect, put-together spotless children creating masterworks of art in their gorgeously designed playrooms. They constantly hear moms brag about whipping up three-course gourmet dinners while their kids sit quietly reading books far beyond their grade level. They read posts from parents complaining that they can’t get their daughter to eat her French fries because she’s too full from broccoli. But Karen Alpert knows this is not reality. Despite what you hear and read every day, you do not need to be perfect to be a kickass parent. Parenting is messy. Parenting is hard. Parenting brings out the best AND the worst in adults. And some of the best parents in the world are mediocre parents. Karen proudly admits she’s a mediocre parent, and in I Want My Epidural Back she’ll make you believe that “mediocre parents are awesome too.” Karen shares her honest, crass, pee-in-your-pants-funny observations, stories, quips, and essays on discipline, potty training, eating, sleeping, and more that will make you laugh and have you nodding your head in recognition. Observing the world of parents and children through her edgy and unique perspective, Karen brings reality into focus, reminding moms and dads everywhere to celebrate and embrace their own not-so-perfect-yet-totally-wonderful parenthood.

    Available Formats: Download, CD, MP3 CD
    I Want My Epidural Back by Karen Alpert

    I Want My Epidural Back

    4.3 hrs • 4/5/16 • Unabridged
    Also: CD, MP3 CD
  6. 7.8 hrs • 1/26/2016 • Unabridged

    Fishing for piranhas in the Amazon, getting stoned at Fijian kava ceremonies, and witnessing the ancient ritual of land diving on Pentecost Island is the stuff of National Geographic cover stories— and Nevin Martell’s childhood vacations. His family’s globetrotting took them from the South Pacific to South America and many points nowhere in-between. Though their lifestyle choices were eccentric, the locations they visited exotic, and the people they met extraordinary, these escapades are firmly grounded in the trials, tribulations, and tribal rivalries that plague all families. Freak Show without a Tent is a grandly hilarious memoir-misadventure that is equal parts National Lampoon’s Vacation, Romancing the Stone, and Crocodile Dundee. Woven seamlessly into the stories of exploring the far side of the far side, near death experiences, and gastronomical catastrophes, is the story of a young boy coming of age, the evolving relationship between a father and son, and a family discovering its own boundaries. With the honesty and innocence that can only come through the eyes of youth, Martell reveals the symbiosis of interdependence and independence that exist deep within both rain forests and families. To paraphrase a family motto: buy the ticket, take the ride, and hope you survive, so that you can tell your therapist all about it.

    Available Formats: Download, Digital Rental

    Freak Show without a Tent

    7.8 hrs • 1/26/16 • Unabridged
    Also: Digital Rental
  7. 5.2 hrs • 11/3/2015 • Unabridged

    From one of the Wall Street Journal’s most popular columnists comes a hilarious and heartfelt guide to modern living. Four times a week, millions of people—men and women—turn to Jason Gay’s column in the Wall Street Journal. The Journal has made him the face of their television marketing campaign, and he is the most tweeted writer to the paper’s 4.32 million Twitter followers. Why is Gay so celebrated? It starts with his witty, fan’s-eye-view of the sports world, which he loves but doesn’t take too seriously. But his most celebrated features are his “Rules” columns, which provide nontraditional, highly amusing but useful advice for maneuvering through the minefields of everyday life. Rules for the office—“Your job is your job and, yes, people are talking behind your back.” Rules for managing money—“Or, at least that $45 you owe me. C’mon, you had three California rolls and two beers, with tip that’s $45.” Rules for family gatherings—“And other happy things that should maybe make you run for your life.” In Little Victories, his first book, Gay presents his case that happiness is not a matter of grand accomplishments like climbing Mt. Everest (which, as he points out, is expensive and stressful) but conquering the small everyday challenges, like putting pants on before 2:00 p.m. on a Saturday. Little Victories is a life guide for people who hate life guides. Whether the subject is rules for raising the perfect child without infuriating all of your friends, rules for how to be cool (related: Why do you want to be cool?), or rules of how to tell the difference between real depression or just eating five cupcakes in a row, Gay’s whimsical essays will make you laugh and then think, “You know, he’s kind of right.”

    Available Formats: Download

    Little Victories

    Read by Jason Gay
    5.2 hrs • 11/3/15 • Unabridged
  8. 5.3 hrs • 10/13/2015 • Unabridged

    For fans of Laurie Notaro and Jenny Lawson comes an uproarious and oddly endearing essay collection for anyone trying to survive the holidays in one piece. When it comes to time-honored holiday traditions, Jen Mann pulls no punches In this hilariously irreverent collection of essays, Jen Mann, nationally bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat, turns her mordant wit on the holidays. On Mann’s naughty list: mothers who go way overboard with their Elf on the Shelf, overzealous carolers who can’t take a hint, and people who write their Christmas cards in the third person (“Joyce is enjoying Bunko. Yeah, Joyce, we know you wrote this letter.”). And on her nice list…well, she’s working on that one. Here, no celebration is off-limits. The essays include: • You can keep your cookies I’m just here for the booze• Nice Halloween costume; was skank sold out?• Why you won’t be invited to our Chinese New Year party From hosting an ill-fated Chinese New Year party, to receiving horrible gifts from her husband on Mother’s Day, to reluctantly telling her son the truth about the Easter Bunny, Mann knows the challenge of navigating the holidays while keeping her sanity intact. And even if she can’t get out of attending another Christmas cookie exchange, at least she can try again next year.

    Available Formats: Download
  9. 0 reviews 0 5 5 5 out of 5 stars 5/5
    10.0 hrs • 6/30/2015 • Unabridged

    Crackling with intelligence and humor, The Position is the masterful story of one extraordinary family at the hilarious height of the sexual revolution—and through the thirty-year hangover that followed. In 1975 Paul and Roz Mellow wrote a bestselling Joy of Sex–type book that mortified their four school-aged children and ultimately changed the shape of the family forever. Thirty years later, as the now dispersed family members argue over whether to reissue the book, we follow the complicated lives of each of the grown children and their conflicts in love, work, marriage, parenting, and, of course, sex—all shadowed by the indelible specter of their highly sexualized parents. Insightful, panoramic, and compulsively readable, The Position is an American original.

    Available Formats: Download, CD, MP3 CD
    The Position by Meg Wolitzer

    The Position

    10.0 hrs • 6/30/15 • Unabridged
    0 reviews 0 5 5 5 out of 5 stars 5/5
    Also: CD, MP3 CD
  10. 4.2 hrs • 6/9/2015 • Unabridged

    The actress, comedian, media darling, and New York Times bestselling author picks up where she left off in Ali in Wonderland, dissecting modern life—and this time, on a mission of self-improvement—in a series of laugh-out-loud comic vignettes. Moved by a particularly inspirational tweet one day, Ali Wentworth resolves to live by the pithy maxims she discovers in her feeds. What begins as a sort of self-help project quickly turns into something far grander—and increasingly funnier—as the tweets she once viewed with irony become filled with increasing metaphysical importance. And thus begins her “Unhappiness Project.” It’s not long before Ali expands her self-improvement quest to include parenting, relationship, fitness (or lack thereof), and dieting advice. The results are painfully (and at times literally) clear: when it comes to self-help, sometimes you should leave it to the professionals. At once endearing and hilarious, thoughtful and absurd, Happily Ali After is a thoroughly entertaining collection.

    Available Formats: Download, CD

    Happily Ali After

    4.2 hrs • 6/9/15 • Unabridged
    Also: CD
  11. 4.2 hrs • 6/2/2015 • Unabridged

    His mother’s last word was his name. His father’s was, “Wonderful.” Together they inspired the title for this true story of love and redemption. Bob Morris was always the entertainer in his family but not always a perfect son. When he finds his parents approaching the end of their lives, he begins to see his relationship to them in a whole new light, and it changes his way of thinking. How does an adult child with flaws and limitations figure out how to do his best for his ailing parents while still carrying on and enjoying his own life? And when their final days on Earth come, how can he give them the best possible end? In the tradition of bestselling memoirs by Christopher Buckley, Joan Didion, and with a dash of David Sedaris, Bobby Wonderful recounts two poignant deaths and one family’s struggle to find the silver lining in them. As accessible as he is insightful, Bob Morris infuses each moment of his profound emotional journey with dark comedy, spiritual inquiry, and brutally honest self-examination. This is a little book, but it captures a big, universal experience.

    Available Formats: Download

    Bobby Wonderful

    4.2 hrs • 6/2/15 • Unabridged
  12. 5.6 hrs • 5/26/2015 • Unabridged

    The comedian, actor, television host, podcast king, and New York Times bestselling author of President Me, Not Taco Bell Material, and In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks now lays down the law on the plight of the modern parent. Parents, do you often think that if your kids had to grow up the way you did—without iPads, seventy-inch flatscreen televisions, American Girl dolls, and WiFi in the climate controlled minivan—that they might actually be better off? Do you feel underappreciated or ignored? Do you worry you’re raising a bunch of spoiled softies who will never know how to do anything themselves—because you do everything for them? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need Daddy, Stop Talking. Adam rips parenthood a new one, telling it straight about what adults must do if they don’t want to have to support their kids forever. Using his own crappy childhood as a cautionary tale and touting the pitfalls of the kind of helicopter parenting so pervasive today, Daddy, Stop Talking is the only parenting book you should ever read. Here too is sage advice to Adam’s own kids—and to future parents—on what matters most: dating, drinking and drugs, buying your first house and car, puberty, and what kind of a**holes his kids (and yours) should avoid becoming. Even if his own son and daughter pretty much ignore everything he says, you shouldn’t. And you’re welcome. Again.

    Available Formats: Download

    Daddy, Stop Talking

    5.6 hrs • 5/26/15 • Unabridged
  13. 2 reviews 0 5 5 5 out of 5 stars 5/5 (2)
    8.2 hrs • 5/19/2015 • Unabridged

    Meg Wolitzer brings her characteristic wit and intelligence to a provocative story about the evolution of a marriage, the nature of partnership, the question of a male or female sensibility, and the place for an ambitious woman in a man’s world. The moment Joan Castleman decides to leave her husband, they are thirty-five thousand feet above the ocean on a flight to Helsinki. Joan’s husband Joseph is one of America’s preeminent novelists, about to receive a prestigious international award, and Joan, who has spent forty years subjugating her own literary talents to fan the flames of his career, has finally decided to stop. From this gripping opening, Meg Wolitzer flashes back to Smith College and Greenwich Village in the 1950s and follows the course of the marriage that has brought the couple to this breaking point—one that results in a shocking revelation. With her skillful storytelling and pitch-perfect observations, Wolitzer has crafted a wise and candid look at the choices all men and women make—in marriage, work, and life.

    Available Formats: Download, CD, MP3 CD
    The Wife by Meg Wolitzer

    The Wife

    8.2 hrs • 5/19/15 • Unabridged
    2 reviews 0 5 5 5 out of 5 stars 5/5 (2)
    Also: CD, MP3 CD
  14. 3.4 hrs • 5/5/2015 • Unabridged

    Toddler a**holery is a normal part of human development—not unlike puberty, except this stage involves throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. For parents of toddlers, it’s a “you better laugh so you don’t cry” period. Bunmi Laditan’s hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic relief—along with the very good news that it’s not our fault. Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty-training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and how not to die inside. Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants (“One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone.”), things you thought you’d never say that you now say as a parent of a toddler (“I can tell you’re pooping because your eyes are watering.”), and how to order pizza (“Spend forty dollars on pizza delivery, listen to your toddler cry for thirty minutes about how the pizza is all wrong, watch your toddler take a small bite of crust, Google “can anger give you a heart attack?,” then start the bedtime routine.”) Laditan’s wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent-to-tired-parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.

    Available Formats: Download

    Toddlers Are A**holes

    3.4 hrs • 5/5/15 • Unabridged
  15. 4.7 hrs • 4/7/2015 • Unabridged

    Stefanie Wilder-Taylor is officially fed up with the endless mommy fads, trends, studies, findings, and facts about how to raise children. Tiger Mom or Cool Mom? Organic or vegan? “TV is the devil” or “TV is a godsend”? The mother of three young girls, Stefanie has finally decided to hell with Google—she’s going to find out how to be a mom all on her own. In this latest mommy book from the popular blogger, author, and TV personality, Stefanie will share her secrets for achieving a balance in motherhood between being protective and caring, and downright bats**t crazy. She’ll debunk some of the looniest parenting myths and reinforce others; she’ll describe how, through as simple a process as good old trial-and-error, she’s learned to pick and choose what works for her and her family, and tune out the rest. Filled with sage advice, laugh-out-loud stories, and Stefanie’s signature wit, Gummi Bears Should Not Be Organic is sure to appeal to any and every renegade mom who’s forged her own path to childrearing.

    Available Formats: Download
  16. 5.3 hrs • 4/7/2015 • Unabridged

    This straight-talking and wickedly funny parenting guide is a must-have for new moms trying to weed through all that other “expert” advice. The moment the second line on the pee stick turns pink, women discover they’ve entered a world of parenting experts. Friends, family, colleagues, the UPS delivery guy—suddenly everybody is a trove of advice, much of it contradictory and confusing. With dire warnings of what will happen if baby is fed on demand and even direr warnings of what will happen if he isn’t, not to mention hordes of militant “lactivists,” cosleeping advocates, and books on what to worry about next, modern parenthood can seem like a minefield. In busy-mom-friendly short essays, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay delivers the empathetic straight dirt on parenting, tackling everything from Mommy & Me classes (“Your baby doesn’t need to be making friends at three months old—you do! But not with people you’ll meet at Mommy & Me”) to attachment parenting (“If you’re holding your baby 24/7, that’s not a baby, that’s a tumor”). Stefanie Wilder-Taylor combines practical tips with sidesplitting humor and refreshing honesty, assuring women that they can be good mothers and responsibly make their own choices.

    Available Formats: Download
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