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  1. 0.1 hrs • 7/5/2016 • Unabridged

    What do you do when you spot a wild Trump in the election season? New York Times bestselling author and comedian Michael Ian Black has some sage advice for children (and all the rest of us who are scratching our heads in disbelief) in this perfectly timely parody book intended for adults that would be hysterical if it weren’t so true. The beasty is called an American Trump. Its skin is bright orange, its figure is plump. Its fur so complex, you might get enveloped. Its hands, though are, sadly, underdeveloped. The Trump is a curious creature, very often spotted in the wild, but confounding to our youngest citizens. A business mogul, reality TV host, and now … political candidate? Kids (and, let’s be honest, many adults) might have difficulty discerning just what this thing that’s been dominating news coverage this election cycle is. Could he actually be real? Are those … words coming out of his mouth? Why are his hands so tiny? And, perhaps most importantly, what on earth do you do when you encounter an American Trump? With his signature wit and a classic style, comedian Michael Ian Black introduces those unfamiliar with the Americus Trumpus to his distinguishing features and his mystifying campaign for world domination … sorry … president of the United States.

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    A Child's First Book of Trump

    0.1 hrs • 7/5/16 • Unabridged
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  2. 9.5 hrs • 6/7/2016 • Unabridged

    From legendary comedian D. L. Hughley comes a bitingly funny send-up of the Obama years, as “told” by the key political players on both sides of the aisle. What do the Clintons, Republicans, fellow Democrats, and Obama’s own family really think of President Barack Obama? Finally, the truth is revealed in this raucously funny “oral history” parody. There is no more astute—and hilarious—critic of politics, entertainment, and race in America than D. L. Hughley, famed comedian, radio star, and original member of the “Kings of Comedy.” In the vein of Jon Stewart’s America: The Book, Black Man, White House is an acerbic and witty take on Obama’s two terms, looking at the president’s accomplishments and foibles through the imagined eyes of those who saw history unfold. Hughley draws upon satirical interviews with the most notorious public figures of our day: Mitt Romney (“What’s ‘poverty’? Is that some sort of rap jargon?”); Nancy Pelosi (“I play F**k/Marry/Kill, and there’s a lot more kills than fu**ks in Congress, believe me.”); Rod Blagojevich (“You can’t sell political offices on eBay; I discovered that personally.”); Joe Biden (“I like wrestling.”); and other politicians, media pundits, and buffoons. It is sure to be the most irreverent—and perhaps the most honest—look at American politics today.

    Available Formats: Download, CD, MP3 CD
    Black Man, White House by D. L. Hughley

    Black Man, White House

    By D. L. Hughley, with Michael Malice
    Performed by a full cast
    9.5 hrs • 6/7/16 • Unabridged
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    Also: CD, MP3 CD
  3. 2.9 hrs • 5/24/2016 • Unabridged

    This book is important, and not just because it’s about Donald Trump. It is essential listening for anyone who wants to discover the official Trump brand origin story, to learn his positions on vital issues like: the military, “Are These the Biggest Missiles We Have?” science, “If Einstein Was So Smart, Why Wasn’t He Rich?” and good government, “Of the Good People, by the Good People, and for the Good People.” Through hilarious stories, photo mashups, official documents, and future newspaper clippings, listeners will experience life under the leadership of President Trump. This is the road map every citizen needs to thrive and survive in a “Trumpocalypse.” Remember, it will be Trump’s America, but you have to live in it.

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    Trump's America

    2.9 hrs • 5/24/16 • Unabridged
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  4. 1.7 hrs • 5/3/2016 • Unabridged

    Against all odds, the Donald doesn’t appear to be going away anytime soon. Astonishingly, Trump’s lead over the Republican field of presidential candidates appears to widen with each passing week. The worst-case scenario playing out across the Land of the Free: What if he actually wins the election?! In President Trump, the special collector’s edition parody magazine from bestselling authors Tom Connor and Jim Downey, readers will discover the full range of President Trump’s plans—such as they are—for the nation’s highest office. From the heavily plagiarized Inauguration address to the new Cabinet of highly inappropriate members, and from the rebranding of the White House to hot-topic issues such as immigration and countries worth bombing, readers will quickly learn why one of the scariest words in the English language this year may be “elected!”

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    President Trump

    1.7 hrs • 5/3/16 • Unabridged
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  5. 12.3 hrs • 11/15/2015 • Unabridged

    Sketches New and Old is a compilation of fictional stories written by Mark Twain. Among them is “A Ghost Story.” In each story, one can catch a great sense of Twain’s humor and creativity. These classic sketches from Twain are no longer than ten minutes, but all show his quick witted humor in response to the events of the day. A real storyteller can make a great story out of anything, even the most trivial occurrence. Composed between 1863 and 1875, the sixty-three often outrageous sketches in Sketches, New and Old contain, for instance, a piece about the difficulty of getting a pocket watch repaired properly; complaints about barbers and office bores; and satirical comments on bureaucrats, courts of law, the profession of journalism, the claims of science, and the workings of government. In Mark Twain’s hands, all these potentially dry and dull topics bristle with vitality and interest. “What fascinates Twain,” Lee Smith writes in her introduction, is how people “react to the things that happen to them.” Twain “lets them speak in their own voices by and large, in a chorus ranging from high-flown oratory to the plain speech of working people… It seems generally true that the more elevated the speech, the likelier that person is to be an idiot; words of wisdom and common sense are invariably voiced by the common man”—or woman. “The most profound and moving sketch in this whole collection” Smith writes, is one “told by a freed slave.” The candid, ironic, playful, and petulant sketches in this volume are indispensable to our understanding of a harried genius during thirteen quite amazing years.

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    Sketches New and Old

    12.3 hrs • 11/15/15 • Unabridged
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  6. 2.4 hrs • 11/3/2015 • Unabridged

    An irreverent take on the national bestseller 41: A Portrait of My Father by George W. Bush, 45 is a no-holds-barred tell-all written in the voice of former president George W. Bush as he stumps for his brother Jeb—perhaps doing more harm than good. In 45: A Portrait of My Knucklehead Brother Jeb, George W. Bush takes readers on a journey through his “butt-faced kid brother’s” life, detailing the experiences that forged his presidential character, and in his own plainspoken and sometimes even comprehensible style, showing us why the younger Bush should be the next leader of the free world. And while he definitely wants Jeb to be commander-in-chief, he just can’t stop razzing him either. 45 is the most hilarious (and backhanded) presidential endorsement you’ve ever read—a true literary noogie from one brother to another.

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    45

    2.4 hrs • 11/3/15 • Unabridged
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  7. 5.8 hrs • 10/27/2015 • Unabridged

    It’s not enough to be right, these days—especially when you’re not left. To survive, the right must learn how to express nonliberal principles as effectively as possible, and persuade others of their point of view. It is an art that demands patience, research, humor, understanding, creative thinking, learning from your opponent and even mimicking their tactics. In How to Be Right, Gutfeld reveals the strategies that have helped him keep a steady job for almost three decades. From “Discard Your Outrage” and “Outcompassion Them” to “Find the Right’s Obama” and “Use your Mom,” Gutfeld gives readers the tools they’ll need to argue, influence, and convince their friends, family, and foes throughout the 2016 election cycle.

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    How to Be Right

    5.8 hrs • 10/27/15 • Unabridged
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  8. 2.7 hrs • 9/22/2015 • Unabridged

    The explosive secret e-mails Hillary Clinton doesn’t want you to read (Or maybe she does … She’s crafty like that.) Remember that time Hillary Clinton admitted that she deleted thousands of e-mails from her ultrasecret personal e-mail address while secretary of state? Thousands of e-mails, she claimed, about her daughter’s wedding? Well, shockingly, people aren’t buying it: “Hiding the truth” says the New York Post. “Conspiracy or incompetence?” asks Al Jazeera. “Hillary Clinton Don’t Give a Sh*t” claims Wonkette. What’s clear here is that the country will crumble if these e-mails aren’t released immediately. Now, thanks to John Moe and the good people of WikiLoox, the e-mails have been retrieved and placed in this dossier. For the first time, we’ll get a look inside HRC’s well-coiffed head, reading intimate conversations with family (Bill, Chelsea), friends (Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Oprah, Beyonce), and frenemies (Obama, Palin, Putin) alike. We’ll also learn essential details about her private life, from her pop culture obsessions to her thoughts on yoga, baking cookies, Scandal, and much more. Make no mistake—this is a book of critical national importance. On her journey from mother-of-the-bride to commandress-in-chief, we’ll see how HRC handles the most challenging situations she might face in the White House, including how to respond to people who “reply all” to e-mails and how to wrangle pantsuit retailers as they compete, with increasing desperation, for her attention. Along the way, we will finally get the portrait we need—the one our country deserves—of the woman we may soon call “Queen”—we mean, “Madam President.” So read on, friends. Read on for freedom.

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    The Deleted E-Mails of Hillary Clinton

    2.7 hrs • 9/22/15 • Unabridged
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  9. 0 reviews 0 5 5 5 out of 5 stars 5/5
    4.7 hrs • 6/9/2015 • Unabridged

    From former SNL writer and “Weekend Update” host Colin Quinn comes a controversial and laugh-out-loud investigation into cultural and ethnic stereotypes. Colin Quinn has noticed a trend—Americans’ increasing political correctness has forced us to tiptoe around the subjects of race and ethnicity. Every ethnic group has differences and this diversity should be celebrated, not denied. So why has acknowledging cultural differences become so taboo? In The Coloring Book, Quinn mixes his own personal experiences with incredibly candid and hilarious conversations with people from different ethnic groups to discover which stereotypes they find funny, which stereotypes are based on truths, which have become totally distorted over time, and which are actually offensive to each group, and why. As it pokes holes in the tapestry of fear that has overtaken discussions about race, The Coloring Book serves as an antidote to our paralysis when it comes to laughing at ourselves … and others.

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    The Coloring Book

    4.7 hrs • 6/9/15 • Unabridged
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  10. 0 reviews 0 5 4.5 4 out of 5 stars 4.5/5
    11.7 hrs • 5/26/2015 • Unabridged

    The star of Parks and Recreation and author of the New York Times bestseller Paddle Your Own Canoe returns with a second book that humorously highlights twenty-one figures from our nation’s history, from her inception to present day—Nick’s personal pantheon of “great Americans.” To millions of people, Nick Offerman is America. Both Nick and his character, Ron Swanson, are known for their humor and patriotism in equal measure. Offerman focuses on the lives of those who inspired him. From George Washington to Willie Nelson, he describes twenty-one heroic figures and why they inspire in him such great meaning. He combines both serious history with lighthearted humor—comparing, say, Benjamin Franklin’s abstinence from daytime drinking to his own sage refusal to join his construction crew in getting plastered on the way to work. The subject matter also allows Offerman to expound upon his favorite topics, which readers love to hear—areas such as religion, politics, woodworking and handcrafting, agriculture, creativity, philosophy, and fashion.

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    Gumption

    11.7 hrs • 5/26/15 • Unabridged
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  11. 4.5 hrs • 4/21/2015 • Unabridged

    From seven-time Emmy nominee Jon Macks comes this entertaining and hilarious look into late-night show monologues and how they’ve affected the nation. Ever since Johnny Carson first popularized the late-night talk show in 1962 with the Tonight Show, the 11:00 p.m to 2:00 a.m. comedy time slot on network television has remained an indelible part of our national culture. More than five popular late-night shows air every night of the week, and with recent major shake-ups in the industry, late-night television has never been more relevant to our public consciousness than it is today. Jon Macks, a veteran writer for the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, takes us behind the scenes of this world for an in-depth, colorful look at what really makes these hosts the arbiters of public opinion. From the opening monologue—what’s funny, what’s dangerous, what’s untouchable—to the best versus worst guests, Macks covers the landscape of late-night comedy and punctuates the narrative with hysterical personal anecdotes, shining the spotlight on some of the very best late-night jokes. With an insider’s expertise and a laugh-out-loud voice, Macks explains how late-night television redefines the news and events of any given day, reshapes public opinion, and even creates our national zeitgeist.

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    Monologue

    4.5 hrs • 4/21/15 • Unabridged
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  12. 0 reviews 0 5 4 4 out of 5 stars 4/5
    9.6 hrs • 11/4/2014 • Unabridged

    We all know the system isn’t working. Our governments are corrupt, and the opposing parties pointlessly similar. Our culture is filled with vacuity and pap, and we are told there’s nothing we can do: “It’s just the way things are.” In this book, Russell Brand hilariously lacerates the straw men and paper tigers of our conformist times and presents, with the help of experts as diverse as Thomas Piketty and George Orwell, a vision for a fairer, sexier society that’s fun and inclusive. You have been lied to, told there’s no alternative, no choice, and that you don’t deserve any better. Brand destroys this illusory facade as amusingly and deftly as he annihilates Morning Joe anchors, Fox News fascists, and BBC stalwarts. This book makes revolution not only possible but inevitable and fun.

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    Revolution

    9.6 hrs • 11/4/14 • Unabridged
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  13. 7.9 hrs • 3/18/2014 • Unabridged

    Behind every awful, dangerous decision lurks one evil beast: the Cool.   From politics to the personal, from fashion to food, from the campus to the locker room, the desire to be cool has infected  all aspects of our lives. At its most harmless, it is annoying. At its worst, it is deadly, on a massive scale.  The Cool are the termites of life, infiltrating every nook and cranny and destroying it from within. The Cool report the news, write the scripts, teach our children, run our government—and each day they pass judgment on those who don’t worship their coolness.  The cool fawn over terrorists, mock the military, and denigrate employers. They are, in short, awful people.  In  Not Cool,  Greg Gutfeld, host of Red Eye, cohost of The Five, and bestselling author of The Joy Of Hate, lays out the battle plan for reclaiming the real American ideal of cool (building businesses, protecting freedom at home and abroad, taking responsibilities for your actions, and leaving other people alone to live as they damn well please).  Not Cool fights back against the culture of phonies, elitists, and creeps who want your soul. It’s not a book, it’s a weapon—and one should be armed with it at all times.

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    Not Cool

    7.9 hrs • 3/18/14 • Unabridged
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  14. 6.0 hrs • 3/18/2014 • Unabridged

    Make no mistake: Our founding fathers were more bandanas-and-muscles than powdered-wigs-and-tea.  As a prisoner of war, Andrew Jackson walked several miles barefoot across state lines while suffering from smallpox and a serious head wound received when he refused to polish the boots of the soldiers who had taken him captive. He was thirteen years old. A few decades later, he became the first popularly elected president and served the nation, pausing briefly only to beat a would-be assassin with a cane to within an inch of his life. Theodore Roosevelt had asthma, was blind in one eye, survived multiple gunshot wounds, had only one regret (that there were no wars to fight under his presidency), and was the first US president to win the Medal of Honor, which he did after he died. Faced with the choice, George Washington actually preferred the sound of bullets whizzing by his head in battle over the sound of silence.  And now these men—these hallowed leaders of the free world—want to kick your ass. Plenty of historians can tell you which president had the most effective economic strategies, and which president helped shape our current political parties, but can any of them tell you what to do if you encounter Chester A. Arthur in a bare-knuckled boxing fight? This book will teach you how to be better, stronger, faster, and more deadly than the most powerful (and craziest) men in history. You’re welcome.

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    How to Fight Presidents

    6.0 hrs • 3/18/14 • Unabridged
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  15. 0 reviews 0 5 3 3 out of 5 stars 3/5
    5.0 hrs • 6/25/2013 • Unabridged

    Hi. In your hands, right now, you hold the culmination of thousands of years of human intelligence, ingenuity, and brilliance. Now put your goddamn phone down and pay attention to my book. What is in my book, you ask? (I’m really glad you asked, by the way, because now I get to tell you.) Time travel. Gay marriage. Sportsballing. Futuristic goggles that DO NOTHING. Tiny brags from my publisher, stuff like: “This is an uproarious, uncensored take on empathy, personal responsibility, and what it means to be human.” Excessive brags about myself: “An extraordinarily clever, punishingly funny, sharp-tongued blogosphere star, NFL player, husband and father, one-time violin prodigy, voracious lifetime reader, obsessive gamer, and fearless champion of personal freedom.” Oh, and also an essay on the Pope’s Twitter account. Honestly, if that doesn’t draw you in, there’s no hope left for humanity. I also give my own funeral eulogy, in case you were hoping I’d go away and die now! So please, join me in the glorious art of windmill tilting by reading this “collection of rousing, uncensored personal essays, letters, and stories.” (I have no idea why that’s in quotes.) Join the herd of Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies. (You know you want to.)

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    Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies

    5.0 hrs • 6/25/13 • Unabridged
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  16. 9.7 hrs • 6/4/2013 • Unabridged

    Imagine needing to hide your true beliefs just to keep a job you hated. Now imagine your job was producing the biggest show on the biggest cable news channel in America, and you’ll get a sense of what life was like for Joe Muto. As a self-professed bleeding-heart, godless liberal, Joe’s viewpoints clearly didn’t mesh with his employer, especially his direct supervisor, Bill O’Reilly. So he did what any ambitious, career-driven person would do. He destroyed his career, spectacularly. He became Gawker’s so-called Fox Mole. Joe’s posts on Gawker garnered more than two million hits in one week. He released footage and information that Fox News never wanted exposed, including some extremely unflattering footage of Mitt Romney. The dragnet closed around him quickly, he was fired within thirty-six hours, so his best material never made it online. Unfortunate for his career as the Fox Mole, but a treasure trove for book readers. An Atheist in the FOXhole has everything liberals and Fox haters could desire: details about how Fox’s right-wing ideology is promoted throughout the channel; why specific angles and personalities are the only ones broadcasted; the bizarre stories Fox anchors actually believed (and passed on to the public); and tales of behind-the-scenes mayhem and mistakes, all part of reporting Fox’s version of the news.

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    An Atheist in the FOXhole

    Read by Joe Muto
    9.7 hrs • 6/4/13 • Unabridged
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