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1.4 hrs • Mar/07/2017 • Unabridged
If you’ve ever suffered through a Passover Seder, you’re well aware of the fact that the entire evening can feel like we’re still in bondage. There are endless stories, frequent hand washing, and not enough eating. The book you hold before you is no ordinary Haggadah. For This We Left Egypt? is a hilarious and entertaining parody from the comedic minds of Dave Barry, Alan Zweibel, and Adam Mansbach. These award-winning comedy writers take you through every step of the Seder, from getting rid of all the chametz in your house by setting it on fire with a standard blowtorch (preferably outdoors), to breaking the middle matzah (that is, if you can find a piece that isn’t already broken), to a hilariously absurd retelling of the Passover story featuring Pharaoh Schmuck, a burning bush that sounds kind of like Morgan Freeman, and the Promised Land which turned out not to be a land of milk and honey but rather one of rocks and venomous scorpions the size of Yorkshire terriers. Also included are useless commentary, absurd two-color illustrations, and thought-provoking discussion questions throughout such as: Is Manischewitz considered a plague? Publishing just in time for Passover, this book will be the perfect gift book from G-d that you’ll want to share and laugh over with friends and family.Available Formats:3.8 hrs • Sep/08/2015 • Unabridged
Dear Mr. Franklin,First of all, let me just say that this Assignment is Stupid. You are Dead. Why am I writing a letter to Some dead guy I've never even met?This is the start to a most unlikely pen pal relationship between thirteen-year-old Franklin Isaac Saturday (Ike) and Benjamin Franklin. Before the fateful extra credit assignment that started it all, Ike's life was pretty normal. He was avoiding the popularity contests of middle school, crushing hard on Claire Wanzandae and trying not roll his eyes at his stepfather, Dirk-the-Jerk's lame jokes.But all that changes when, in a successful effort to make Claire Wanzandae laugh, Ike mails his homework assignment to Ben Franklin...and he writes back. Soon, things go awry. After Ike has an embarrassing moment of epic proportions in front of Claire involving a playground, non-alcoholic beer, and a lot of kettle corn, Ike decides he needs to find a way to win Claire back. With some help from his new friend, B-Fizzle, can Ike get the girl and make his mark in history?Available Formats:10.6 hrs • Jul/21/2015 • Unabridged
In this chilling sequel to The Dead Run, New York Times bestselling author Adam Mansbach mixes horror, the supernatural, and gritty suspense to deliver a high-octane, high-concept adventure filled with nasty bad guys, fearsome magic, and an unlikely hero caught in the dangerous terrain of the Tex-Mex borderland.Locked in a Mexican jail for a crime he didn’t commit, Jess Galvan made a devil’s bargain to escape and make it back home. Now, he’s trapped in his own personal hell, his mind and body inhabited by the soul of Cucuy, a fearsome, five-hundred-year-old Aztec priest and major crime kingpin determined to bring about hell on earth. Estranged from his daughter, Sherry, and now his own body, Galvan’s every moment is a battle to keep the evil priest at bay. But there is a silver lining—his presence has endowed Galvan with superhuman strength and endurance. Meanwhile, in the bowels of Ojos Negros prison, Cucuy’s second-in-command, Domingo Valentine, is trying to run the empire Cucuy left behind when he vanished, but the drug cartels they once controlled are at war with one another. Desperate for answers, Valentine springs the imprisoned leader of a deadly biker gang and now they’re on the hunt for Galvan—who must find a way to exorcise his inner demon and save the world from annihilation.Available Formats: CD0.1 hrs • Jun/10/2014 • Unabridged
The bestselling Go the F*** to Sleep has been translated into over thirty languages worldwide. Now it is finally translated for Jamaican and other Caribbean parents of the world.Go de Rass to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, California Book Award–winning author Adam Mansbach’s verses perfectly capture the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. In the process, they open up a conversation about parenting, granting us permission to admit our frustrations and laugh at their absurdity.Go de Rass to Sleep is beautiful, subversive, and pants-wettingly funny—a book for parents new, old, and expectant. You probably should not read it to your children.Available Formats: CD, MP3 CD, Digital Rental10.8 hrs • Sep/24/2013 • Unabridged
Adam Mansbach, the acclaimed #1 New York Times bestselling author of Go the F**k to Sleep and Rage Is Back, turns to a new tale of suspense, horror, and supernatural actionWrongfully imprisoned in a Mexican jail, outlaw-with-a-conscience Jess Galvan accepts a devil's bargain: transport a sinister package across the border in twenty-four hours for the jail's mythical—and terrifying—bogeyman El Cucuy. If Jess can make it across alive and give the iron box to cult leader Aaron Seth, he will be free and able to regain custody of his estranged daughter.But as Jess navigates a blighted desert full of deadly surprises, girls go missing on both sides of the border and bodies begin to surface. It's a deadly epidemic of crime that plunges small-town sheriff Bob Nichols into a monster of an investigation he's not equipped to handle, especially when sixteen-year-old Sherry disappears.An ancient evil has awoken in the empty wastelands along the border and now everyone—the innocent and the guilty alike—must face their deepest fears as epic myth and human malice combine to bring forth the end of the world as we know it.With The Dead Run, acclaimed author Adam Mansbach mixes horror, the supernatural, and suspense to deliver a chilling, high-octane adventure.Available Formats:9.4 hrs • Jan/10/2013 • Unabridged
A fearless novel about the price of revenge from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Go the F*** to SleepKilroy Dondi Vance is an eighteen-year-old mixed-race Brooklynite who deals pot and goes to prep school on scholarship, all while growing up in the shadow of his absentee father, Billy Rage, a legendary graffiti writer who disappeared from New York City in 1989 following a public feud with MTA police chief Anastacio Bracken.Now it’s 2005. Bracken is running for mayor of New York City, and who should Dondi discover on a rooftop in Brooklyn but his father, newly returned to the city and ready to settle the score. The return of Rage and the mayoral race of Bracken prompt a reunion of every graffiti writer who mattered in the 1980s—in order to thwart Bracken with the greatest graffiti stunt New York City has ever seen.Rage Is Back delivers a mind-bending journey through a subterranean world of epic heroes and villains. Moving through the city’s unseen communities, from the tunnel camps of the Mole People to the drug dens of Crown Heights, Rage Is Back is many things: a dramatic, hilarious thrill ride; a love letter to NYC that introduces the most powerful urban underdog narrator this side of The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao; and a literary tour de force from a writer on the brink of real stardom.Available Formats:0.1 hrs • Oct/04/2011 • Unabridged
¡Duérmete, carajo! es un cuento para dormir para los padres que viven en el mundo real, en el cual un par de gatitos ronroneando y unas líneas simpáticas no son lo suficiente para zumbar a un niño pequeño a dormir felizmente. Profano, cariñoso, y franco de manera radical, cuenta la conocida—y callada—tribulación de acostar a su angelito. Bello, subversivo—y para mearse—¡Duérmete, carajo! es un libro para padres experimentados, nuevos e incipientes. (Y probablemente es mejor no leérselo a los pequeños…)The Spanish edition of the #1 New York Times best seller Go the F**k to Sleep, this is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, California Book Award–winning author Adam Mansbach’s verses perfectly capture the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. In the process, they open up a conversation about parenting, granting us permission to admit our frustrations and laugh at their absurdity.Available Formats:Loading more titles...
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