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  1. 2.1 hrs • Mar/28/2017 • Unabridged

    Perfect for fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Timmy Failure, King of the Bench is an ode to teammates, underdogs, and bench-warmers everywhere.Steve is King of the Bench. No brag. It’s just a fact. But this year, Steve and his friends are excited to try out for the Spiro T. Agnew Middle School baseball team. The only problem is, after watching another player get beaned by a fastball, Steve has developed a serious case of bean-o-phobia—the fear of getting hit by a pitch. If Steve ever wants to get off the bench and get in the game, he’s going to have to muster up some courage, and fast.Oh, and if you’re wondering why Steve would write a book and tell total strangers all about the humiliating phobia that almost ruined his first year on the baseball team? Duh. It’s pretty much a rule that you spill your guts when you write a book about yourself.

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    King of the Bench: No Fear!

    Read by Maxwell Glick
    2.1 hrs • Mar/28/2017 • Unabridged
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  2. 9.0 hrs • Mar/21/2017 • Unabridged

    Lucy and Owen, ambitious, thoroughly therapized New Yorkers, have taken the plunge, trading in their crazy life in a cramped apartment for Beekman, a bucolic Hudson Valley exurb. They’ve got a 200-year-old house, an autistic son obsessed with the Titanic, and seventeen chickens, at last count. It’s the kind of paradise where stay-at-home moms team up to cook the school’s “hot lunch,” dads grill grass-fed burgers, and, as Lucy observes, “chopping kale has become a certain kind of American housewife’s version of chopping wood.”When friends at a wine-soaked dinner party reveal they’ve made their marriage open, sensible Lucy balks. There’s a part of her, though—the part that worries she’s become too comfortable being invisible—that’s intrigued. Why not try a short marital experiment? Six months, clear ground rules, zero questions asked. When an affair with a man in the city begins to seem more enticing than the happily-ever-after she’s known for the past nine years, Lucy must decide what truly makes her happy—“real life,” or the “experiment?”

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    The Arrangement

    Read by Ellen Archer
    9.0 hrs • Mar/21/2017 • Unabridged
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  3. 1.4 hrs • Mar/07/2017 • Unabridged

    The great and powerful Trixie is back in Ponyville, looking for a special cloak for her biggest show ever—she’s sure her new trick will get her invited to the legendary Starmane Society of Magicians! When an accident gives Trixie the ability to turn ordinary things into precious gems just by touching them, she’s sure she’s stumbled upon the best trick ever. At first, Trixie loves the attention, but then her Midas hoof becomes way more trouble than it’s worth. Can Rarity and Twilight Sparkle help Trixie reverse the curse?

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    My Little Pony: Trixie and the Razzle-Dazzle Ruse

    Read by Tracey Petrillo
    1.4 hrs • Mar/07/2017 • Unabridged
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  4. 5.8 hrs • Feb/28/2017 • Unabridged

    The hotly-anticipated next novel from NUMBER ONE bestselling author, David WalliamsJack’s Grandpa …*wears his slippers to the supermarket*serves up Spam à la Custard for dinner*and often doesn’t remember Jack’s nameBut he can still take to the skies in a speeding Spitfire and save the day …An exquisite portrait of the bond between a small boy and his beloved Grandpa—this book takes listeners on an incredible journey with Spitfires over London and Great Escapes through the city in a high octane adventure full of comedy and heart.

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    Grandpa’s Great Escape

    5.8 hrs • Feb/28/2017 • Unabridged
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  5. 12.3 hrs • Feb/14/2017 • Unabridged

    Martha Andersson may be seventy-nine years old and live in a retirement home, but that doesn’t mean she’s ready to stop enjoying life. So when the new management of Diamond House starts cutting corners to save money, Martha and her four closest friends—Brains, Rake, Christina, and Anna-Greta (aka the League of Pensioners)—won’t stand for it. Fed up with early bedtimes and over-cooked veggies, this group of feisty seniors sets out to regain their independence, improve their lot, and stand up for seniors everywhere. Their solution? White-collar crime. What begins as a relatively straightforward robbery of a nearby luxury hotel quickly escalates into an unsolvable heist at the National Museum. With police baffled and the Mafia hot on its trail, the League of Pensioners has to stay one walker’s length ahead if it’s going to succeed. Told with all the insight and humor of A Man Called Ove or Where’d You Go, Bernadette?, The Little Old Lady Who Broke All the Rules is a delightful and heartwarming novel that proves the adage that it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years.

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  6. 10.3 hrs • Dec/27/2016 • Unabridged

    Tammy Everett’s suspicious, overly-protective father, Harry, does everything he can to crush her relationship with the hard-living Todd Cartwright. Todd is not about to give up the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him and goes to war with Harry. But a few days before the wedding, tragedy rocks both Todd and Harry’s world, sending them crashing into a depth of heartache and anger that neither man knows how to handle.When Todd decides to go on the honeymoon alone and drink and fornicate away his pain, he finds Harry at the airport with Tammy’s ashes, heading down to the same island where Tammy is to be laid to rest. The two men must now travel together to a honeymoon resort, escorted by the person they each blame and hate.Todd and Harry are forced to recognize that they have one thing in common: they loved the same woman. And that bond causes them both to begrudgingly help the other overcome the gaping loss that has swallowed them.

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    Honeymoon with Harry

    10.3 hrs • Dec/27/2016 • Unabridged
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  7. 4.3 hrs • Dec/06/2016 • Unabridged

    What is Glop?Glop is a business and a website. But Glop is also a feeling. It’s about picking the right expensive organic eye cream that will make you a tall, thin, wealthy blonde WASP who fits seamlessly into the top tiers of high society and sits next to Bono at a 42-course seitan tasting dinner held in a sex dungeon deep beneath the North Pole. Glop is about being conscious to the tiny details of our lives—what to eat, where to buy your cashmere yoga pants, which juice cleanse will remove the most mercury toxins from both your body and your cashmere yoga pants. Glop is about you.In this scathingly humorous parody, Gabrielle Moss skewers the vanity, elitism, and silliness of the lifestyle website everyone loves to hate. Here are favorite recipes, detoxes, activities, cleanses, beauty tips, juice cleanses, vacation destinations, juice cleanse-detoxes, and a selection of hand creams that will open your third eye—plus lots of celebrity namedropping and more. Glop includes everything from the silly to sublime—make-at-home stem cell moisturizing repair masques, weekend colonics, restorative yoga poses (for when Sting is mad at you about that thing you did), and even the freshest bones for your bone broth. Here, too, are G’s essential tips on parenthood, relationships, work and finances, entertaining, food (well, maybe not food), spirituality, beauty, fashion, home, gifts, kids, and more. Nothing in Glop is sacred—except for a few Indian cows you can’t afford.

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    Glop

    Read by Tavia Gilbert
    4.3 hrs • Dec/06/2016 • Unabridged
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  8. 10.6 hrs • Nov/29/2016 • Unabridged

    From the New York Times bestselling author of How to Be a Woman and Moranthology comes a collection of Caitlin Moran’s award-winning London Times columns that takes a clever, hilarious look at celebrities, society, and the wacky world we live in today—including three major new pieces exclusive to this book.When Caitlin Moran sat down to choose her favorite pieces for her new book, she realized that they all shared a common theme—the same old problems and the same old ass-hats. Then she thought of the word “Moranifesto,” and she knew what she had to do …Introducing every piece and weaving her writing together into a brilliant, seamless narrative—just as she did in Moranthology—Caitlin combines the best of her recent columns with lots of new writing unique to this book as she offers a characteristically fun and witty look at the news, celebrity culture, and society. Featuring strong and important pieces on poverty, the media, and class, Moranifesto also focuses on how socially engaged we’ve become as a society.And of course, Caitlin is never afraid to address the big issues, such as Benedict Cumberbatch and duffel coats. Who else but Caitlin Moran—a true modern Renaissance woman—could deal with topics as pressing and diverse as the beauty of musicals, affordable housing, Daft Punk, and why the Internet is like a drunken toddler? Covering everything from Hillary Clinton to UTIs, Caitlin’s manifesto is an engaging and mischievous rallying call for our times.

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    Moranifesto

    Read by Joanna Neary
    10.6 hrs • Nov/29/2016 • Unabridged
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  9. 7.0 hrs • Nov/22/2016 • Audio Theater

    The Adventures of Tea Man, Volume 2Like a Jay Ward cartoon in audio, The Adventures of Tea Man, Volume Two is a hilarious, wacky collection of radio theater, written and performed by Mitchell Pearson and the DQD Theater of Philadelphia and produced by Joe Bevilacqua. Get ready for two hours of comedy entertainment!Yogi Comes to Camp WaterloggWhen a bear gets in the Camp Waterlogg chicken coop, young Squeaky Lkie dreams that it’s Yogi Bear.The Camp Waterlogg Halloween PartyGet in the Halloween spirit with this new two hour comedy title from veteran award-winning actor, writer, director, and producer Joe Bevilacqua (Joe Bev). He is joined by Lorie Kellogg and Fred Frees (Paul Frees’ son).Waterlogg Productions is a full service audio/video entertainment company, founded in 2002 by husband and wife creative duo Joe Bevilacqua and Lorie Kellogg. Together, they have been responsible for over 150 titles, including many Camp Waterlogg titles, distributed exclusively by Blackstone Audio. Check out their website at http://www.waterlogg.com.

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  10. 2.1 hrs • Nov/22/2016 • Audio Theater

    As Christmas approaches, John, a modern-day working father, seems a little more stressed out than usual. With his lovely wife, Eve, and adoring teenage children, Chris, Brooke, and little Anna-Magdalena at his side, what could possibly go wrong? Well, just about everything—including an unexpected visit from his in-laws, the never-ending seasonal to-do list, the annoying neighborhood kids, and that man-eating Christmas tree. And through it all, his smiling coworker, Dennis, sets him up for the ultimate disaster at work.Join John and his family as they take you on a madcap dash through the festive season filled with laughter, tears, reconciliation, friendship, and joy. It’s a holiday treat for the whole family!This full-cast dramatization by award-winning radio dramatist George Zarr features original music and engaging sound effects.

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    Hurry! Hurry! It’s Almost Christmas!

    Read by a full cast
    2.1 hrs • Nov/22/2016 • Audio Theater
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  11. 7.7 hrs • Nov/15/2016 • Unabridged

    Meet Dr. Nancy Beach, a relationship counselor who hosts a local radio show called Love’s a Beach. One problem: the relationship guru can’t seem to make her own relationships work, sending her credibility and ratings into the toilet.Meet Jacob Cope, a walking thesaurus of phobias, a Lehman Brothers casualty who’s lost his job and swagger and now yearns to be a ventriloquist.When Nancy and Jacob are set up on a blind date and hit it off, their siblings, desperate to be rid of them, encourage the young couple to move in together. When the honeymoon stage abruptly ends, Jacob attempts to mend the fence by adopting a dog, a big dog, and Nancy flips out—until she realizes the dog trainer’s techniques can be used to housebreak Jacob and save her radio career.

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    Dog Training the American Male

    Read by Morgan Lauré
    7.7 hrs • Nov/15/2016 • Unabridged
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  12. 10.7 hrs • Nov/08/2016 • Unabridged

    In A Joe Bev Cartoon Collection, Volume Two, award-winning radio producer and voice actor Joe Bevilacqua, a.k.a. Joe Bev, presents…Haunted Joe Bev: A Joe Bev Cartoon, Volume 7 (190, minutes)Spooky comedy, including: “The Monster in The Wardrobe”, “Forever a Monster”;, “A Halloween Happening”, “Bewitched Tongues”, “A Camp Waterlogg Halloween”, “The Ugly Fairy”; and “The Evil Millispore”, “The Poor Bunny’s Magic Bouquet”, “The Flying Contest”, “The Incredible Black Rain”, and “Rain Drop, Snow Flake”.Joe Bev au Naturel: A Joe Bev Cartoon, Volume 8 (125 minutes)Nature comedy, including “The Magic Tree”, “The Tree and the Vegetables”, “The Lazy Bird”, “A Frog in a Frying Pan”, “A Drop of Water”, “The Last Dinosaurs”, “Billy Peck, Tight Rope Waddler”, “Batbird”, “The Little Stone Bird”, “Friends from the Vegetable Patch”, “Colorful Animals”, “The Grumpy Tree”, “Birth of the Turtles”, “The Unfriendly River”, “The Toothy Toad”, “Sparky Hooves”, “Scuttleball, Soccer for Ants”, “The Red Moon”, “The Carnivorous Plant”, “Tubby the Pot-Bellied Cat”, “The Old Man on the Moon”, “The Pet Sack”, “Peggy’s Talking Pets”, and “The Duck Race”.Joe Bev Hanna-Barberian, A Joe Bev Cartoon, Volume 9 (120 minutes)A tribute to the classic Hanna-Barbera cartoons with brand new stories, including “Yogi Bear and the Three Bears”, “Mr. Jinks Plays with the Sun”, “Hokey Wolf and the Big-Mouth Fox”, “Huckleberry Hound and the Cloud-Eating Giant”, “Super Snooper and the Mystery of the Missing Coin”, “Blabber Bee”, “Humble Jinks”, “Doggy Daddy and the Lost Worm”, “Quick Draw McRiding Hood”, “Jinks the Night Owl”, “Wally Gator Goes to a Wedding”, “Snagglepuss and the Mocking Tiger”, “Bigelow Mouse in August Heat”,“Jinks Goes to the Ball”, and “Yogi Bear and the Beans Talk”. Includes never-before-performs scripts by Daws Butler, Joe Bev’s mentor and the original voice of these characters, now interpreted by Joe Bev.Joe Bev Loves Lorie: A Joe Bev Cartoon, Volume 10 (125 minutes)Included in this comedy variety show, Lorie Kellogg performing “Bob Dylan Sings Mother Goose”, “The Big Match”, “The Vegetable Patch”, “Elise’s Bachelor Party” part 1 (from The Comedy-O-Rama Hour), “The Girl with the Beautiful Face”, Kitchen Scene from “Our Miss Brooks: One Principle Too Many, One Principle Too Meany”, “The Island of Invention”, “Elise’s Bachelor Party” part 2 (from The Comedy-O-Rama Hour), “Uncle Goopie: Too Big or Too Small Store” (from The Comedy-O-Rama Hour), “Lamb Chop” (Burns and Allen routine before a live audience), and “Boo Boo Monkeys” (B-52s spoof)Joe Bev the Musical, A Joe Bev Cartoon, Volume 11 (121 minutes)In the variety hour, Joe Bevilacqua performs his own jazz compositions, accompanied by Paul Salomone on piano, Edward Fuqua on bass, Leif Eric on guitar, and Jim Mason on drums. In addition, Joe Bev performs Daws Butler’s Magic Drums with Joe Gatto on drums, and sings Cab Calloway and Irving Mills’ Minnie the Moocher as his Camp Waterlogg character Sgt. Lefty and the Chipmunks, featuring Julian Baker on trombone and keyboard. The selections are gleaned from Bevilacqua’s hundreds of hours of audio work that spans more than 40 years, including The Whithering of Willoughby and the Professor, Uncle Dunkle and Donnie, and Camp Waterlogg, including: “Do I Dare Believe”, “I’m Big, You’re Small”, “You Can’t Tell Me What to Do” (instrumental), “You Can’t Tell Me What to Do” (vocal), “Make the Earth Say Beans”, “What You See, You Must Believe”, “The Magic Drums”, “Living in a Witchway” (rehearsal), “Living in a Witchway (vocal)", “Living in a Witchway” (instrumental), “Minnie the Moocher,” “Mosquito Mother”, “Dances-with-Sven”, “Which Way is it that a Witchway Goes” (instrumental), “Which Way is it that a Witchway Goes” (vocal), “Ring-Around-the-Rosey Blues”.Thurbered Joe Bev: A Joe Bev Cartoon, Volume 12 (135 minutes)Over one hour Joe Bev’s interpolation of the characters of James Thurber (“Unicorn in the Garden”), including some lesser known Thurberesque stories, including the baseball saga “You Can Look it Up”. Who better to interpret James Thurber than Joe Bev, who was the protege of Daws Butler, the voice of Yogi Bear.Waterlogg Productions is a full service audio/video entertainment company, founded in 2002 by husband and wife creative duo Joe Bevilacqua and Lorie Kellogg. Together, they have been responsible for over 150 titles, including many comedy titles, distributed exclusively by Blackstone Audio. Check out their website at http://www.waterlogg.com.

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  13. 8.7 hrs • Nov/08/2016 • Unabridged

    From the author of Cash Out, a hilarious novel about one working stiff’s day of hooky—reminiscent of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Office Space—and the insanity that ensuesRick Blanco walks out of meetings. He’s a serial meeting ditcher. A walk-out artist. He’s so good that no one seems to notice when he just gets up and walks out. A corporate illusionist of the covert kind, he learned his trade studying a former colleague, the master of meeting ditches, Bob Watson. Rick continues Bob’s legacy, going for more frequent and longer ditches, building on the art with every boring corporate meeting.Now, Rick wants to pull off his most important Bob Watson yet—skipping out of work to see his young nephew before he moves with his parents to Argentina. But things soon get complicated. As Rick leaves the office, he’s mistaken for the company’s human resources executive Dick Rayborne, a man made famous in HR circles for creating the hot new labor practice of “consourcing”—like “outsourcing” but with convicted felons. Convinced that he is the scummy Dick Rayborne, two cons, and a granny they call Mama, force Rick into six hours of mayhem, complete with home break ins and emergency board of directors meetings. Along the way, Rick realizes he has the opportunity to pull off the most meaningful Bob Watson imaginable, and still give his nephew a hug goodbye.Refreshing, witty, and clever, The Bob Watson is a madcap tale of danger, adventure, and personal discovery.

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    The Bob Watson

    Read by Roger Wayne
    8.7 hrs • Nov/08/2016 • Unabridged
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  14. 2.0 hrs • Oct/04/2016 • Unabridged

    It’s slippery. It’s slurpable. It’s spaghetti!Perfect for fans of Big Nate, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, and the previous Stick Dog books, Tom Watson’s hilarious Stick Dog Slurps Spaghetti is not to be missed.Stick Dog and his gang of hungry hounds want to play tug-of-war. Their search for rope leads to something even better—spaghetti! Once they get a taste, they must get some more.It will be their most difficult mission ever—and will demand all of Stick Dog’s problem-solving skills. They’ll need to scale the tallest mountain in the suburbs and sneak into a restaurant filled with people.Dangerous humans—a strange-talking girl, a huge chef, and a penguin-man—lurk around every corner. But there’s more than danger in the air. Stick Dog has caught the scent of something even more scrumptious than spaghetti. And he’ll risk everything to find out what it is.

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    Stick Dog Slurps Spaghetti

    Read by Andrew Eiden
    2.0 hrs • Oct/04/2016 • Unabridged
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  15. 5.6 hrs • Oct/01/2016 • Audio Theater

    Duffy’s Tavern was a radio comedy series featuring tavern manager Archie, his get-rich-quick schemes, and his well-known guest stars.The familiar opening song “When Irish Eyes Are Smiling” is interrupted by the ring of a telephone and actor Ed Gardner’s New Yorkese accent as he answered, “Hello, Duffy’s Tavern, where the elite meet to eat. Archie the manager speakin’. Duffy ain’t here—oh, hello, Duffy.”Duffy’s Tavern, first heard in 1940, was cocreated and written by Ed Gardner, who played Archie, the manager of Duffy’s Tavern, which was a flea-infested dive in New York City. Archie’s abuse of the English language quickly became a favorite feature of the show. Regulars on the show included Duffy’s man-hungry daughter Miss Duffy; Clifton Finnegan, the classic village idiot, played by Charlie Cantor; Eddie the waiter, played by Eddie Green; and Clancy the cop, played by Alan Reed. Duffy himself was never heard on the show; he was an absentee owner who left the daily operations to Archie.Archie was always trying to get rich quick, and his harmless schemes often involved weekly guests who were well-known stars, including Shelley Winters and Vincent Price.Some of radio’s sharpest comedy was penned for Duffy’s Tavern by top Broadway and TV veterans, including Abe Burrows, Larry Marks, Larry Gelbart, and Dick Martin.

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    Duffy’s Tavern, Vol. 1

    5.6 hrs • Oct/01/2016 • Audio Theater
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  16. 5.5 hrs • Oct/01/2016 • Audio Theater

    Here are twelve more episodes of the antics of Amos, Andy, and the Kingfish, along with guest stars, including Jack Benny, Eddie “Rochester” Anderson, and “Wizard of Oz” Frank Morgan.Freeman Gosden and Charles Correll made their radio debut on January 12, 1926, as the comedic blackface characters Sam ’n’ Henry. On March 19, 1928, they introduced Amos ’n’ Andy, which went on to become one of the most popular and longest-running programs in radio history. During the height of its popularity, almost the entire country tuned in to their adventures.The characters were members of the Mystic Knights of the Sea Lodge, of which George Stevens was “the Kingfish.” Amos and Andy ran the Fresh-Air Taxi Company, with the more stable, married Amos doing most of the work while Andy chased girls. In 1943, after 4,091 quarter-hour episodes, it switched to a half-hour weekly comedy. Many of the half-hour programs were written by Joe Connelly and Bob Mosher, later the writing team for Leave It to Beaver and The Munsters. Amos ’n’ Andy became a nightly disc-jockey program from 1954 to 1960. It later was the basis for a comic strip, a television show, and a film.Included here are the following half-hour episodes: “Nieces” (11/04/1933); “Employment Agency” with guests Jack Benny and Eddie “Rochester” Anderson; “DeWitt (11/17/1944); “Cleaning Fluid” with guests Hugh Herbert and Adolphe Menjou (11/14/1944); “Fountain Pen” (12/01/1944); “Brazilian Brass” with guest Frank Morgan (12/08/1944); “Andy Fakes Suicide” (12/15/1944); “Christmas Show” (12/22/1944); “New Year’s Show” (01/29/1944); “Victor Moore Show” with guest Victor Moore (01/05/1945); “George Washington Desk” (01/12/1945); “Adoption Show” (01/19/1945)

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