Callahan’s Con

By Spider Robinson
Read by Barrett Whitener

The Callahan Series: Book 2003

9.63 Hours 10/01/2004 unabridged
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The discreet little bar that Jake Stonebender established a few blocks below Duval Street is simply called The Place. There, Fast Eddie Costigan learned to curse back at parrots as he played the house piano, the Reverend Tom Hauptman learned to tend bar bare-chested without blushing, Long-Drink McGonnigle discovered the margarita and several señoritas, and all the other regulars settled into comfortable subtropical niches of their own. Nobody even noticed them save the universe. Over time, the twice-transplanted patrons of Callahan’s Place attracted a pixilated collection of local zanies so quintessentially Key West that they made the New York originals seem almost normal. The elfin little Key deer, for instance—with a stevedore’s mouth; or the merman with eczema; or Robert Heinlein’s teleporting cat. For ten slow, merry years, life was good. The sun shone, the coffee dripped, the breeze blew just strongly enough to dissipate the smell of the puns, and little supergenius Erin grew to the verge of adolescence. Then disaster struck. Through the gate one sunny day comes a malevolent, moronic mastodon of a Mafioso named Tony Donuts, Jr. He’s decided to resurrect the classic protection racket in Key West—and guess which tavern he’s picked to hit first? Then, thanks to very poor accessorizing, Jake’s wife, Zoey, suddenly finds herself in a place with no light, no heat, and no air—and no way home. The urgent question of her whereabouts turns out to be a problem so complex that even the entire gang, equipped with teleportation, time travel, and telepathy, might not be able to crack it in time. And while all this is going on, Death himself walks into The Place. But this time he will not leave alone.

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Summary

Summary

The discreet little bar that Jake Stonebender established a few blocks below Duval Street is simply called The Place. There, Fast Eddie Costigan learned to curse back at parrots as he played the house piano, the Reverend Tom Hauptman learned to tend bar bare-chested without blushing, Long-Drink McGonnigle discovered the margarita and several señoritas, and all the other regulars settled into comfortable subtropical niches of their own. Nobody even noticed them save the universe.

Over time, the twice-transplanted patrons of Callahan’s Place attracted a pixilated collection of local zanies so quintessentially Key West that they made the New York originals seem almost normal. The elfin little Key deer, for instance—with a stevedore’s mouth; or the merman with eczema; or Robert Heinlein’s teleporting cat.

For ten slow, merry years, life was good. The sun shone, the coffee dripped, the breeze blew just strongly enough to dissipate the smell of the puns, and little supergenius Erin grew to the verge of adolescence. Then disaster struck.

Through the gate one sunny day comes a malevolent, moronic mastodon of a Mafioso named Tony Donuts, Jr. He’s decided to resurrect the classic protection racket in Key West—and guess which tavern he’s picked to hit first? Then, thanks to very poor accessorizing, Jake’s wife, Zoey, suddenly finds herself in a place with no light, no heat, and no air—and no way home. The urgent question of her whereabouts turns out to be a problem so complex that even the entire gang, equipped with teleportation, time travel, and telepathy, might not be able to crack it in time.

And while all this is going on, Death himself walks into The Place. But this time he will not leave alone.

Editorial Reviews

Editorial Reviews

“Blend a madcap plot involving the legendary Fountain of Youth with a zany cast of barflies, a thin SF twist, and you’ve got the ingredients for the latest frothy concoction in Hugo-winning Robinson’s multivolume tall tale.” Publishers Weekly
“Robinson’s latest entry in his Callahan series features more zaniness, good humor, and bad jokes. Fans will enjoy this fast-paced blend of SF adventure and tall tale.” Library Journal
“[Barrett Whitener] does his familiar and fun vocal gymnastics routine, spouting off one liners in a dozen comic voices. Whitener, an Audie Award winner, is well matched with comic material—it really and truly is his forte.” SFFAudio.com
“Spider Robinson is the hottest writer to hit science fiction since [Harlan] Ellison.” Los Angeles Times
“Spider Robinson’s the antidote for entropy, the blahs, and the pernicious notion that humor and good grace are absent from the SF field.” Ben Bova

Reviews

Reviews

Author

Author Bio: Spider Robinson

Spider Robinson is renowned for his Callahan’s Place series of bestselling novels. With his late wife, Jeanne, he wrote the award-winning Stardance series. As an audiobook reader of his own and others’ work, he has won the Earphones Award and been a finalist for the Audie Awards. In 2008, he won the Robert A. Heinlein Award for Lifetime Excellence in Literature.

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Details

Details

Available Formats : Digital Download, Digital Rental, CD, MP3 CD
Category: Fiction/Science Fiction
Runtime: 9.63
Audience: Adult
Language: English