How to Save Your Child from Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, and Anything Else That Might Happen on an Average Tuesday by James Breakwell audiobook

How to Save Your Child from Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, and Anything Else That Might Happen on an Average Tuesday

By James Breakwell
Read by James Breakwell

Blackstone Publishing 9781948836456
4.66 Hours Unabridged
Format: Digital Download (In Stock)
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The parenting humorist behind the viral Twitter account @XplodingUnicorn and author of Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent’s Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse presents the long-awaited guide to surviving everything else. In the era of instant parent shaming and viral hot takes, some questions are too dangerous to ask out loud: What’s the proper first aid for my toddler’s vampire bite? What should I do if I take a wrong turn on the way to soccer practice and end up in the Cretaceous Period? How can I fend off Godzilla without disrupting my child’s nap? Fortunately, there’s now a parenting resource that answers those burning questions and many more. Professional comedy writer and amateur father James Breakwell’s latest book tackles more than ninety survival challenges ordinary parents might encounter in their everyday lives, including how to protect your child against tigers, penguins, mastodons, and other animals found in the suburbs; how to defeat ghosts, gremlins, mummies, and any other supernatural force that might prevent you from getting your kid to bed on time; and How to survive crashing horses, trains, hot air balloons, and other vehicles you might find in the carpool lane. This is an essential guide for anyone who has children, might have children someday, or is vaguely aware children exist. Put this book down at your own—and your children’s—risk.

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Summary

Summary

The parenting humorist behind the viral Twitter account @XplodingUnicorn and author of Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent’s Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse presents the long-awaited guide to surviving everything else.

In the era of instant parent shaming and viral hot takes, some questions are too dangerous to ask out loud: What’s the proper first aid for my toddler’s vampire bite? What should I do if I take a wrong turn on the way to soccer practice and end up in the Cretaceous Period? How can I fend off Godzilla without disrupting my child’s nap?

Fortunately, there’s now a parenting resource that answers those burning questions and many more.

Professional comedy writer and amateur father James Breakwell’s latest book tackles more than ninety survival challenges ordinary parents might encounter in their everyday lives, including

  • how to protect your child against tigers, penguins, mastodons, and other animals found in the suburbs;
  • how to defeat ghosts, gremlins, mummies, and any other supernatural force that might prevent you from getting your kid to bed on time; and
  • How to survive crashing horses, trains, hot air balloons, and other vehicles you might find in the carpool lane.

This is an essential guide for anyone who has children, might have children someday, or is vaguely aware children exist. Put this book down at your own—and your children’s—risk.

Editorial Reviews

Editorial Reviews

“Nonstop, laugh-out-loud wit sprinkled with shockingly insightful parenting truths. Literally no other parenting book has the courage to address accidental time travel. Bravo.” Joel Willis, executive editor of The Dad
“I adore this book, which, by the way, all parents should read for a laugh or just to realize you’re not alone in the insanity.” Jill Shalvis, New York Times bestselling author
“All the good parents are reading How to Save Your Child. You do want to be a good parent, don’t you? James Breakwell is brilliant, funny, hilarious…What you definitely want to have around is his new book, which is a hysterical, survivable romp through this mad world.” Carrie Jones, New York Times bestselling author

Reviews

Reviews

Author

Author Bio: James Breakwell

Author Bio: James Breakwell

James Breakwell is a professional comedy writer and amateur father of four girls. His Twitter account @XplodingUnicorn has more than 640,000 followers who check in with him daily as he fails as a parent and as a human being. His comedy went viral in April 2016 when Buzzfeed featured his kid-centric jokes in an article that quickly drew more than two million views. His jokes have been featured by USA Today, US magazine, DailyMail.com, Metro.co.uk, Huffington Post, 9GAG, theCHIVE.com, CollegeHumor.com, various ABC and Fox TV news affiliates, and countless other TV, radio, and internet outlets.

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Details

Details

Available Formats : Digital Download, Digital Rental, CD, MP3 CD
Category: Nonfiction/Humor
Runtime: 4.66
Audience: Adult
Language: English