And Then They Stopped Talking to Me by Judith Warner audiobook

And Then They Stopped Talking to Me: Making Sense of Middle School

By Judith Warner
Read by Judith Warner

Random House Audio
7.66 Hours Unabridged
Format: Digital Download (In Stock)
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    ISBN: 9781984845016

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Through the stories of kids and parents in the middle school trenches, a New York Times bestselling author reveals why these years are so painful, how parents unwittingly make them worse, and what we all need to do to grow up. “Judith Warner brilliantly challenges the assumption that middle school has to be a chalkboard jungle.”—Peggy Orenstein, author of Boys & Sex and Girls & Sex The French have a name for the uniquely hellish years between elementary school and high school: l’âge ingrat, or “the ugly age.” Characterized by a perfect storm of developmental changes—physical, psychological, and social—the middle school years are a time of great distress for children and parents alike, marked by hurt, isolation, exclusion, competition, anxiety, and often outright cruelty. Some of this is inevitable; there are intrinsic challenges to early adolescence. But these years are harder than they need to be, and Judith Warner believes that adults are complicit. With deep insight and compassion, Warner walks us through a new understanding of the role that middle school plays in all our lives. She argues that today’s helicopter parents are overly concerned with status and achievement—in some ways a residual effect of their own middle school experiences—and that this worsens the self-consciousness, self-absorption, and social “sorting” so typical of early adolescence.  Tracing a century of research on middle childhood and bringing together the voices of social scientists, psychologists, educators, and parents, Warner’s book shows how adults can be moral role models for children, making them more empathetic, caring, and resilient. She encourages us to start treating middle schoolers as the complex people they are, holding them to high standards of kindness, and helping them see one another as more than “jocks and mean girls, nerds and sluts.” Part cultural critique and part call to action, this essential book unpacks one of life’s most formative periods and shows how we can help our children not only survive it but thrive.

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Summary

Summary

A New York Times Book Review Editor’s Choice of the Week

Through the stories of kids and parents in the middle school trenches, a New York Times bestselling author reveals why these years are so painful, how parents unwittingly make them worse, and what we all need to do to grow up. “Judith Warner brilliantly challenges the assumption that middle school has to be a chalkboard jungle.”—Peggy Orenstein, author of Boys & Sex and Girls & Sex The French have a name for the uniquely hellish years between elementary school and high school: l’âge ingrat, or “the ugly age.” Characterized by a perfect storm of developmental changes—physical, psychological, and social—the middle school years are a time of great distress for children and parents alike, marked by hurt, isolation, exclusion, competition, anxiety, and often outright cruelty. Some of this is inevitable; there are intrinsic challenges to early adolescence. But these years are harder than they need to be, and Judith Warner believes that adults are complicit. With deep insight and compassion, Warner walks us through a new understanding of the role that middle school plays in all our lives. She argues that today’s helicopter parents are overly concerned with status and achievement—in some ways a residual effect of their own middle school experiences—and that this worsens the self-consciousness, self-absorption, and social “sorting” so typical of early adolescence.  Tracing a century of research on middle childhood and bringing together the voices of social scientists, psychologists, educators, and parents, Warner’s book shows how adults can be moral role models for children, making them more empathetic, caring, and resilient. She encourages us to start treating middle schoolers as the complex people they are, holding them to high standards of kindness, and helping them see one another as more than “jocks and mean girls, nerds and sluts.” Part cultural critique and part call to action, this essential book unpacks one of life’s most formative periods and shows how we can help our children not only survive it but thrive.

Editorial Reviews

Editorial Reviews

“I have often advised parents not to allow themselves to be sucked back into middle school when they see their children’s distress or hear their war stories. But I had no guidebook to offer them. Now I do. Michael G. Thompson, co-author of Raising Cain
“Warner has written a compulsively readable book . . . I only wish I’d had it on my bedside table when my own kids were adolescents. But I’d actually recommend it for parents at any stage, as it holds a mirror up to us as much as to our kids. Anne-Marie Slaughter, author of Unfinished Business: Women Men Work Family  “I learned a tremendous amount reading this book!
 “Judith Warner’s remarkable, compassionate, fascinating look at the terrifying abyss that is called middle school has given me a perspective and insight that I only wish I’d had decades ago. It’s a must. Ayelet Waldman, author of Bad Mother and A Really Good Day
“An indispensable parents’ companion for navigating one of the most challenging and extraordinary stages in life. Madeline Levine, author of The Price of Privilege and Ready or Not
“I don’t know a single adult who did not feel alone, insecure, or deeply self-conscious in middle school. Warner puts the pieces of the puzzle together to show us just how not-alone we were. Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is
“Judith Warner offers both fascinating social history and practical advice on a life-stage that sends many adults into a PTSD spiral. She shows how, by compassionately revisiting their own pasts, parents can truly support early adolescents in developing the building blocks for long-term happiness. Peggy Orenstein, author of Boys & Sex and Girls & Sex
“As the parent of a middle schooler, I felt as if Warner had peered into my life . . . With clarity, compassion, and insight, And Then They Stopped Talking to Me brilliantly captures the landscape of kids’ experiences today and the psychological, familial, and cultural forces shaping them. Along the way, Warner debunks age-old myths and offers practical guidance that every parent can use. This is a gift to our kids and their future selves. Lori Gottlieb, author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
Fascinating . . . well researched . . . Judith Warner interviews scores of fellow middle school survivors in her accomplished and highly readable new book. . . . She also gets personal with her tales of middle school woe—both as a former student and as a parent. Shannon Hale, The New York Times Book Review
“Part sociology, part memoir, part self-help, this entertaining guide to the education system’s most notorious institution aims to explain why trauma and humiliation figure so prominently in our associations with junior high.” New York Times Book Review
“A fascinating entry on the middle school years and the struggles both children and adults face during this time.” Library Journal
“This readable, relatable, and well-documented account makes sense and should help families survive the middle school years.” Booklist

Reviews

Reviews

Author

Author Bio: Judith Warner

Author Bio: Judith Warner

Titles by Author

Details

Details

Available Formats : Digital Download
Category: Nonfiction/Family & Relationships
Runtime: 7.66
Audience: Adult
Language: English