Stay Fit and Healthy until You’re Dead by Dave Barry audiobook

Stay Fit and Healthy until You’re Dead

By Dave Barry
Read by Arte Johnson

Blackstone Publishing
2.07 Hours Unabridged
Format: Digital Download (In Stock)
  • $16.95
    or 1 Credit

    ISBN: 9781538467299

    $12.99 With Membership: Learn More
  • $5.95

    ISBN: 9781538477489

Fitness and vitality can be yours, writes Dave Barry—provided you have the discipline, drive, and the plain old-fashioned guts required to procure the necessary steroids. This manual may help, too, but you’ll just have to buy it and find out. Barry on executive fitness: Today’s top executives eat teeny meals and run ten miles and play tennis and work out every day. Of course, they’re so busy getting fit that many don’t even know where their offices are. That’s why the entire US economy is now manufactured overseas. Barry on fitness after death: A quick chill, to approximately 325 degrees below zero, yields a muscle tone that we normally associate only with world-class body builders and certain minerals. Barry on nutrition: Every morning you should take a vitamin A pill, followed by a vitamin D, followed by an E, until you’ve spelled the healthful mnemonic phrase: “A DEAD CAD BAKED A BAD CAKE, ACE.” And eat all the fiber-rich foods you can shove down your throat; these would be mainly your cotton candy and your Slim Jims. Barry on junk foods: White bread and refined sugar, if eaten, cause death within hours. So it’s important to watch what you eat, at least until you get it inside your mouth. After that it becomes pretty disgusting.

Learn More
Membership Details
  • Only $12.99/month gets you 1 Credit/month
  • Cancel anytime
  • Hate a book? Then we do too, and we'll exchange it.
See how it works in 15 seconds

Summary

Summary

Fitness and vitality can be yours, writes Dave Barry—provided you have the discipline, drive, and the plain old-fashioned guts required to procure the necessary steroids. This manual may help, too, but you’ll just have to buy it and find out.

Barry on executive fitness: Today’s top executives eat teeny meals and run ten miles and play tennis and work out every day. Of course, they’re so busy getting fit that many don’t even know where their offices are. That’s why the entire US economy is now manufactured overseas.

Barry on fitness after death: A quick chill, to approximately 325 degrees below zero, yields a muscle tone that we normally associate only with world-class body builders and certain minerals.

Barry on nutrition: Every morning you should take a vitamin A pill, followed by a vitamin D, followed by an E, until you’ve spelled the healthful mnemonic phrase: “A DEAD CAD BAKED A BAD CAKE, ACE.” And eat all the fiber-rich foods you can shove down your throat; these would be mainly your cotton candy and your Slim Jims.

Barry on junk foods: White bread and refined sugar, if eaten, cause death within hours. So it’s important to watch what you eat, at least until you get it inside your mouth. After that it becomes pretty disgusting.

Editorial Reviews

Editorial Reviews

“Undaunted by the USA’s hopeless devotion to physical fitness, author Dave Barry squares off against serious exercise junkies with Stay Fit and Healthy until You’re Dead, identifying the absurdity of it all in textbook format.” USA Today
“His uncelebrity fitness book is probably the funniest thing on the market today.” People magazine 

Reviews

Reviews

Details

Details

Available Formats : Digital Download, Digital Rental
Category: Nonfiction/Humor
Runtime: 2.07
Audience: Adult
Language: English